"Mineral: A Journey To The Past"

Today, I started looking at and listening to some of the older (when I mean older, about 12-13 years ago) music in my collection. During my perusal, I came across Mineral, a band from Austin, Texas during the mid to late 90's. If you've never heard of them before, do yourself a favor and check them out. Along with Sunny Day Real Estate, The Promise Ring, Jawbreaker, The Gets Up Kids, Texas Is The Reason, Boys Life, Christie Front Drive, and numerous others, Mineral took part in the emo scene of the 90's. While that, in itself, might peak the interest of some of you reading, that' snot what I want to write about. Instead, I want to take a moment and write briefly about how the music that these individuals created affected my life. Really, what their music has meant to me.

I remember the first time I heard The Power of Failing; it was during the summer of 1998, a year after it released. During that summer, I was doing summer missions, working at weekly camps around the state of Louisiana. At one of the camps, a worker, whose name I forget, gave me a tape. She possibly gave it to me after I mentioned Sunny Day Real Estate or another band that I liked. One one side, it had Mineral's The Power of Failing. The other side carried songs by Christie Front Drive. Needless to say, as I drove my 1996 Mazda Protege, which I still have, across the state, the tape continually played, along with some Deftones, Blindside, Bruce McCulloch, and others. Quick side note, if you have never heard Bruce McCulloch's (of Kids in the Hall fame) debut solo album Shame-Based Man, do yourself a favor and find it somewhere. I remember finding this album, finally, at a Barnes and Noble in Baton Rouge. Anyways, back to Mineral.

For some reason, The Power of Failing resonated very strongly with me, and it still does. The vulnerability in Chris Simpson's voice as he sings about humbleness, failing, love, desire, heaven, a more innocent time, and other emotions combined with the music fluctuations from all out feedback with pounding drums to swooning basses and lead riffs create an atmosphere that conveys the strongest of emotions in an encapsulated package. For some reason, the nature of the recording also helps. It's less than polished sound adds a mood of urgentness that is only exasperated by the combination of vocals and instruments.

I could go through this album, song by song, and point out what each one has meant to me, or what it means to me now. I don't want to do that though. Instead, I just want to briefly mention three songs. I'll do the same for their second album.

"Slower," the third song on the album, is driven by a four chord progression that carries the listener through the verses where Simpson sings of denial and facades that people put on to impress others. Moving to the chorus, the second guitar enters, disjointed, and brutal, somehow slapping this mask off the speaker. The song carries through a second verse and chorus, still littered with the disjunction found earlier. It ends with a melodic movement that dies down before a brutal assault of feedback and crushing guitars transcend the speakers and let the listener know that things are screwed up "when you wake up in the morning with a smile on your face because you know you lied yourself to sleep to make it better." As a side note, I really like the harmonics in this song too.

"If I Could," was (note the past tense) the song of a semi-hopeless romantic. It's always been a running joke that Emo is for whiny boys who seem to have lost, or never gotten, the girl. To a certain extent, yes, but a lot of music is about this. Anyways, this song doesn't really carry the weight with me that is used to, but I still like it. Somehow, Simpson moves the focal point of the song from a guy watching his romantic interest from a far, admiring her and wanting to tell her how he feels, into a song about the ability to praise God for allowing him to "live and breathe and wake each day." You know, this sentiment still carries weight. As I get older, I do realize how much of a blessing it is to wake up and spend time with the ones you love, including Zoe. So I guess this song still carries a little weight with me.

Finally, "Take The Picture Now," the ninth song on the album, really touches the spiritual aspects. To me, it's a hymn and prayer that needs to be sung at the top of your lungs. Beginning with a melodic bass that gives way to guitars, a drum roll, and vocals, "Take The Picture Now" paints a picture, albeit, the speaker's dream, of heaven. I could sit here and ramble on and on about what these lyrics and music mean to me, but it might be wiser to just print the lyrics here.

there are blue skies in my dreams and laughter that seems unending there are green grass fields there and happiness and hope for tomorrow my cup is full and my heart spills awkward and embarrassing blood onto white-golden streets and i am unashamed of the stains my steps leave tears stream down my cheeks only to meet their redeemer and be wiped away and there is joy ah there is joy.

There are from the Mineral lyric page at Crank Records. All of their lyrics are here. Anyways, this song leads me into their second album, EndSerenading.

This album still amazes me. The melodic vocal arrangements, time signature shifts, mood shifts, and over power that EndSerenading creates gives me goose bumps to this day. The production on this album is better, and it lets the music covey itself in a beautiful way. I don't remember when I bought this album, but I am sure I bought it, ordered it, as soon as it released. Anyways, let me delve into a few songs here to give you an idea of its feelings.

I guess I'll start off with the one that really gets me. "ALetter" is the seventh song on the album. I believe this song really gets me because it reminds me of my grandfather. Now, it hits me harder than it did when I first heard it. The speaker in the song is reminiscing about his grandfather or father. He sees a picture of the man returning home from war with a woman (wife) on his arm and a tattoo. The speaker even says that the face has been "weathered by places and days I'd never seen," and never will possibly. The song then switches to the speaker "reading and rereading the birthday card" he received when he was seven. It reminds him of the times they spent together.

I can say honestly, that this song almost brings me to tears, even now. You know it's been over ten years, and I still can't shake the fact that never did see my grandfather before he died. I remember being at my grandparent's house, being asked if I wanted to go see him, and not going. I was in college, so I should have been able to handle it, but I wasn't. On my way home from an orientation, I believe, for my summer mission trip, I had a premonition when I stopped to eat, at Burger King, in Natchitoches, LA that he had dies. When I got to my parent's house, saw a message on the machine, and listened to it, it didn't surprise me. Now, I regret all of the missed opportunities I had while he was sick.

I didn't mean for this to turn into a historical autobiography, but this topic gnaws at me more than I would like, especially now that I am getting older. I can sit here and say I would have done this, I would have done that, but would I? I don't know. Let me close this subject with one more image that have of that whole ordeal. I don't remember when this was, which time it was when my grandfather was in the hospital, what year, or any of that. All I remember is this. Sitting in a chair across from the hospital bed, I watched as my grandmother held my grandfather in her arms and stroked his head gently. At that moment, I knew what love was. They were married 50 (or 51) years, and they loved each other very much. My parents are about to celebrate 40, and I'm about to celebrate 10, in two years. Hopefully I can mature enough to grasp and experience the love they had for one another. That's not to say I don't love Melissa, but I am not to that completely unconditional stage that I have seen, felt, and experienced with my grandmother.

Ok, I'm not going to go back to the album, but I will say this. The last three songs are great hymns and praise songs, just like "Take the Picture Now."

After breaking up, Chris Simpson and Jeremy Gomez went on to form the Gloria Record, while Gabe Wiley went to Pop Unknown. I still remember buying the Gloria Record's first EP, at Best Buy or Blockbuster Music in Shreveport. I bought, went to Barnes and Noble, with my CD player (remember almost 10 years ago) and played it while reading. Once, when some friends and I saw Pop Unknown in Lake Charles, I believe, we ran into a scene kid who kind of freaked me out. Most of time, true scene kids freak me out; they get so obsessed with what they are experiencing that they take things to the extreme and act weird, even if they aren't on drugs. Anyways, this kid told us that during the dead of winter, granted it's Lake Charles, he would roll the windows down in his car, blast his A/C, and play Mineral just to really feel the music. To me, this was crazy.

Another story, after I met Melissa, we took a road trip to Dallas, actually Denton, to see Gloria Record at Rubber Gloves. Boy, was that a night. The opening band, Antarctica, ex-Christie Front Drive members, played forever, and the Gloria Record didn't play a long set, as usual when I saw them. Sometimes, it felt like a waste to travel so far to see them, but half of the fun of going to shows is the trip. Anyways, I remember driving home from the show. My friend Tim drove most of the way, from what I remember, and he left sun flower seeds everywhere. We stopped at my parent's house on the way through Bossier, we made it home to Monroe, after picking up doughnuts, and Melissa had to go to work at Sound Shop. Was it worth it? Yeah.

Now, to all of you who experienced Mineral with me, you're welcome for me introducing you to them. If memory serves me correctly, I showed them to you after that fateful summer of '98. Debate me and set me straight if I am wrong.

I really wanted to add a picture of my grandfather, but I couldn't find it, until today. It is of him during WW II, sitting on a snow bank, with a drink in his hand, and a sign behind him pointing to Paradise. Here's a picture of Juliette celebrating PaPi's birthday last week.

Richard Wright's Black Boy

So, it's been about a week since I've posted anything. During that time, I finished Brave New World by Huxley. Right now, there isn't a lot I could discuss at this point, apart from the focus on history and its clear use as inspiration for Orwell's 1984.

Instead, I want to use this post to identify a few thoughts I had while reading the first part of Richard Wright's Black Boy. During my reading of Wright's autobiography, and after watching parts of a PBS documentary on Youtube about Wright (there are 5 segments), that he took the nurture side in the nature vs. nurture debate. Continually, throughout the work, he stresses the effects that the environment lives in has acted to shape his, and others, personality.

When his family moved to Memphis in 1913, his father left them, thus causing his mother to care for Richard and his younger brother, Leon. His absence, as well as the absence of other male African-American authority figures that impact Wright in a positive way strikes me. In all of the books I have read this summer, I have noticed this trend. Grant, in A Lesson Before Dying, voices this problem and uses it to teach Jefferson. Now, in Wright's book, this absence would not seem strange to me if it was singular instance, but he even experiences the absence of his grandfather. The only time Wright's maternal grandfather appears, when the family lives with him and his grandmother in Jackson, is when Wright is in trouble. His grandfather must come out of his room, or wherever he is, and take action. The only other time we really see him is when he is on his deathbed.

The other African-American male figures in Wright's life do not really give him anything he needs. Aunt Maggie's husband is killed, her next husband leaves with Maggie, an uncle scares him to death, Uncle Tom tries to be an authority figure, but Wright rebels, and the principal acts as a puppet for the established ethical code. The only ones, of the male persuasion, who really give Wright useful advice are his peers. Griggs does this by telling him he needs to think before he acts.

In the absence of these male figures, the female ones take over. Wright is raised, almost entirely, by the female members of his family. Even then, his mother must be absent some times to work, leaving him and his brother to their own devices. During these times, Wright becomes a drunk at six, peeps on his landlady's sundry operations in her house, and gets into other mischief. Granted, he knows when he has done things wrong, he even says he does. However, the authority figures in his life do not appear to care. They know that he has gone against their expectations, and he must be punished.

In a way, the manner in which the women in his life treat him reminds me of the episode near the end of the section where Harrison and Richard are coaxed into fighting by their white employers. He writes, "The hate we felt for the men [employers] whom we had tried to cheat went into the blows we threw at each other" (243). This action becomes reminiscent of the beatings Wright receives from the female figures in his life. He always has a hard time broaching the topic of race with his mother; she skirts the subject and he knows it. There is always this air around them that constricts their feelings, even for one another. When Wright is punished for his transgressions, no matter how minor, this pain and hate that the authority figures feels appears to be transferred to him through the punishment.

On a different note, it's interesting to look at Wright's use of words and his dedication to their meaning. In the first few chapters, he writes numerous lines, recalling blues verses, that describe his daily life. For example:

The days and hours began to speak now with a clearer tounge. Each experience had a sharp meaning of its own.
There was the breathlessly anxious fun of chasing and catching flitting fireflies on drowsy summer nights.
There was the drenching hospitality in the pervading the smell of sweet magnolias. (45).

Here, and later, Wright uses quick snippets to provide information for his formative years his surroundings. He only does this when he is younger. As he ages, these instances of a page or two of descriptive phrasings vanishes.

On another occasion, he appears to subvert the very act that is occurring around him by using language that precisely contradicts the scene. When he goes to the revival meeting with his grandmother, he tells her that he would consider salvation and belief if he sees an angel. She misunderstands him and tells the pastor that he has seen an angel. During his realization of this problem, he says uses blasphemous language in the narrative as if to subvert the setting and meaning of the scene.

Another instance, shows his use of manipulating language when he writes a letter to the librarian so he can check out books by H.L. Mencken. Jerry W. Ward Jr., in the introduction, writes, "Not only does [Wright] forge (the dual meaning seems intended) his own notes to borrow books, but he names himself "nigger" to insure his success" (xviii). In all actuality, Wright has learned to bend and play with rules and edicts of the South better than his peers. Instead of letting a white man kick him in the butt for a quarter, like Shorty, Wright uses his knowledge of the system to his advantage without being disgraced in the process.

In conclusion, I would really like to explore some more ideas in the book, even though I don't have time. For one, the idea of playing a role within set constructs appeals to me. Also, it would be interesting to examine the nature of Wright's peer to peer relationships, especially in today's light. Through my experience, these mentalities still exist, in different forms. His classmates always wonder why he writes, they always tell him how to act so he won't be killed, and ultimately, they, and his family, isolate him because he is different.

In conclusion, this song, for some reason, reminds me of some of the topics I want to explore further. Mainly, it relates to the Wright's drive and his ability to look beyond the current situation. Take a listen and let me know what you think.

P.O.S.--"Purexed"

Summer Music

Alright, I thought I would make this post semi-educational and fun. I've really been listening to good new and old albums this summer, and I thought I would share a few with you here.










mewithoutYou--It's all crazy! It's all false! It's all a dream! It's alright!

Ok, I must start off by saying that have gravitated towards about 4-5 songs on this album. That's usually how it goes with mewithoutYou and me. When I have listened through the entire album, I have enjoyed it. However, there are a few songs that truly stand out to me.

"Every Thought a Thought of You"
Really, this song really grabs me from the beginning, the keys and drums leading into the vocals. As with a lot of the band's songs, this one really hits me as a praise song. I'm not one for praise and worship music, instead, I gravitate towards songs that praise God but deviate from the Sunday morning contemporary worship songs. A great opening song.

"The Fox, The Crow, and The Cookie"
This is Melissa's favorite song on the album. It's a whimsical song that tells the story of a fox who tries to steal a treat from the baker's cart. Instead, the crow, seeing the baker traveling throughout the town, swoops down and steals a treat. He succeeds, and the baker uses "most unfriendly words, that the village children had not yet heard." The fox goes to the crow to ask for a piece of the treat because the fox distracted the baker. This plead failed, so the fox plays off of the crow's ego. He asks to hear the crow sing. The crow, being boastful, obliges and drops the cake. At this point, the orchestration really creates a vision of the fox and crow struggling for the treat. The video at the end of this section is a live performance of this song.

"The Angel of Death Came to David's Room"
Starting off quietly, with an acoustic guitar and vocals, it relays a fictitious story of Davis being visited by the Angel of Death. David, of course, tells the Angel that his time has not come, yet the Angel asks David where all his relatives and ancestors are. He says he slew Goliath, but the Angel doesn't care. What really stands out to me is the idea of this song. Even the mightiest of men will ultimately die, whether it's painful or solemn, they will die.

"The King Beetle on a Coconut Estate"
This song is my favorite one on the album. It's a fable that starts out mellow and increases to a booming crescendo. The beetles see a fire set by the workers on the coconut estate. The beetle king summons his men and asks them to travel to the "great light" and return with a report. The first volunteer is a professor, who says he will "be back both successful and proud." When he makes it back though, his wings have been burned and he has to crawl towards the king. The king, frustrated, sweetens the deal with a ring. The next volunteer, a lieutenant, steps out and says he will "earn the king's favor and one day all he [the king] has will be mine." He also returns defeated. Neither the science nor brute strength could determine what the great light is. after and orchestral interlude, the full band kicks in, and the king, at this point, becomes frustrated and says he will exam the light himself. He gathers his kids and tells them that "you've all called me your dad, but your true dad's not me. I lay next to your mom, and your forms were conceived. Your father's the light within all that you see." The light, obviously, has a relationship to God. The king, through faith, must be "utterly changed into fire." What really makes this song beautiful is the orchestration.

"Allah, Allah, Allah"
Plain and simple, a praise song. I read some reviews of this album that said some of the songs sound like campfire songs. Well, this one does. I really love this song for its simplicity and honest nature. Also, I love the fact that I can play it in the car and Juliette will sing along with it, almost word for word.










Rancid--Let the Dominoes Fall

Nothing beats a good punk album during the summer. There's not much that I could say about that band that probably hasn't been said before. So, I will just provide a quick anecdote. Recently, I've been listening to the CD in the car with Juliette, sans the songs with cursing. One day I told her that we were listening to Rancid. Since then, she recognizes the song, "L.A. River," and any other Rancid song I put on. Two days ago, Melissa, Juliette, and I were driving somewhere. I asked Juliette who was playing, she said, "Rancid." Then, I asked her if she liked Rancid. She said, "I like Rancid." Well, Melissa just cringed. This is coming from the three year old that like The Showdown at two.

The album has some really good songs: "Last One to Die," "Up To No Good," "Disconnected" (a good metaphor for the U.S), "New Orleans," "Civilian Ways" (about Tim's brother), "The Bravest Kids," "Skull City," "L.A. River," and all of the rest. The album is great. If you've never listened to Rancid, check em out. If you love a good bass player, you really need to check them out. Matt Freeman is one of, if not, the best I have ever heard.


It's getting late. I'll try to post a few more albums tomorrow.

"Burning Clean"

Where should I even begin with Ernest Gaines' A Lesson Before Dying? Honestly, I don't know. As I said in the previous post though, this blog will contain my thoughts, that upon further discussion and thought, will aid me in my graduate studies. So, I think I'll just jot down a few of my observations and thoughts.

One of the major ideas that has really struck me with Gaines' work, this includes Of Love and Dust and some of the stories in Bloodline. In A Lesson Before Dying (ALBD), Grant, from the beginning, has lost his faith in God. Granted this faith is in the "white God," as he says. Even though, he has turned his back on the faith of his Aunt, the woman who raised him when his parents left. This, of course, creates the interesting dynamic when it comes to religion throughout the course of ALBD. On the one hand, Grant has lost faith in God, and everything else for that matter, even himself. On the other hand, he used to have some semblance of faith, coming from his relatives and the other elders in the quarter. What does this actually mean?

For one, it comes across as a conflict between the older and younger generation. The older, raised in slavery grasped onto Christianity and intermingled it with African traditions. It provides them with a feeling of hope, that something better awaits them on the other side of Jordan. Grant sees this in Reverend Ambrose. Even though Grant cannot believe, he understands the importance. When Ambrose tries to convince Grant to talk to Jefferson about his soul, they have this exchange:

"I want him in heaven as much as you do. Reverend"
"A place you can't believe in?"
"No, I don't believe in it, Reverend."
"And how can you tell him to believe in it?"
"I'll never tell him not to believe in it." (217)

Grant sees the importance of these beliefs. They are what keeps the people going. It's hard for me to say definitively if Grant, at the end of the novel, regains his faith. To me, he doesn't. However, he begins to have faith in other things: his future, his role in life, and the small things that he can do to make the lives of those around him better.

Religion, in this context, could also be seen as a negative influence on the community surrounding Grant and Jefferson. They have seen and encountered numerous things that have caused them to loose their faith. Jefferson, in his notebook, tells us about Samson asking God why his wife had to die and others lived. He tells us about Boo running through the streets drunk and cursing God. The promise of and education that will benefit the mass majority in the African American community has failed. How can these individuals believe when they have been through so much, including being arrested and called "a hog?"

One final note on religion leads me to my next observation. While listening to the 'Termination songs one Sunday, Grant talks about his loss of faith. He says, "I did not have time for anything else [except studying]" (102). Education has usurped religion as a means of salvation, but it hasn't produced any fruit, in Grant's mind, either.

As a teacher, Grant feels that he has not, and cannot, make a difference. He looks forward to the day when he can leave with Vivian and never look back. All of his former classmates, and possibly some of his students, either moved North, were arrested, or worse. He received an education, at a university, but it still has not done anything for him. The superintendent of schools even views the Grant's school as only being useful for one thing, producing reputable individuals who can work the fields. When he comes to inspect the school, for his yearly visit, he examines the children like slaves. When he leaves, he reminds Grant to stress hygiene and nutrition.

My final observation could lead to an essay that encompasses other works. It involves the definition of a hero. Jefferson, in the end, epitomizes a hero for the community, a tangible expression of an idea shared by a group of individuals. This up close, personal hero contrasts with the other heroes that Grant hears discussed and brings into the story. One night, at the Rainbow Club, he overhears some older men joking and talking about Jackie Robinson's exploits. Jackie Robinson, while a hero, has no personal connection with the people in the story. In the same way, Grant relates the story of Joe Louis. After his first defeat to Schmeling, the whole quarter mourned as if he had died. Upon his second fight, and win, against Schmeling, the quarter erupted. He even recounts the story of a boy in Florida being dragged to the electric chair and pleading for Joe Louis to save him.

Ultimately, while these men are heroes and carry ideas and hopes of people with them, they do not have the same impact as individuals who have a personal stake in each others lives. Grant, while not trying to be a hero, recognizes this with his Aunt and with Emma. He treats them respectfully, even when he doesn't want to, and they know he doesn't. He knows what they have been through, to a certain extent and sees the hurt that Emma is going through now. He even sees why Jefferson needs to be a hero, not just for Emma, but for everyone. "A hero," according to Grant, "is someone who does something for other people" (191). Grant knows that Miss Emma needs Jefferson to walk to the chair a man, and Grant knows that he needs Jefferson to do the same thing. Jefferson's ultimate act of walking to the chair, and "never saying a mumbling word," with his shoulders back, constitutes a hero. He proved he was a man.

Of course, there are more points that I could talk about, but those are just a few that really caught my attention. Read Stavesacre's "Burning Clean" for an idea of what this novel conveys to me. Next, I will begin Aldous Huxley's A Brave New World.

The next post will contain some family and music stories.